Marriage
Genesis 2:23-25 - "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame" (NIV).
1 Kings 11:4 - "As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been" (NIV).
Matthew 19:4-6 - “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (NIV).
Ephesians 5:21-25 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (NIV).
Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).
Colossians 3:18-19 - "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (NIV).
God created marriage. He instituted it at the beginning of creation. Marriage is not the ultimate goal of life… Jesus is. We are designed for a love relationship with God. He uses marriage as a means to draw us closer to himself, as well as a means to fulfill his calling on our lives. You don't need a spouse to be close to God or fulfill your calling. But, God often uses marriage as a means to accomplish both. God also created marriage to bring beauty, joy, growth and challenge into our lives. He can accomplish much through a man and woman in a commitment of marriage, working in love and unity.
When marriage is seen as a platform for gaining comfort, completeness or control over someone, it rests on shaky foundations. There are many wrong reasons to get married: physical attraction alone (sexual reasons), emotional security, fear of being alone, to have children, and parental pressure. Marriage really only works when Jesus is at the center of it. Otherwise, it will fail.
God's way of doing a marriage relationship is the best. The relational foundation should rest on the principle of mutual submission (Eph. 5:21). Heart submission to one another is possible when each person is completely submitted to Jesus. Then, in the context of marriage, the husband and the wife fulfill their different functions. The husband is called to a role of servant leadership (Jesus' style of leadership). The wife is called to follow. This, of course, does not mean a silent submission. The marriage relationship is all about giving and responding in love. When the husband is laying down his life for the wife in practical ways (i.e. being conversational, doing the "dirty" jobs, being the first to ask forgiveness, etc.), it is very easy for the wife to follow him with joy.
What if you want to get married, but it's not happening? Don't panic and try to control your future. Process your feelings with your heavenly Father. Seek him first, and he will give you what you need (Matt. 6:33). Continue to present your request before the Father. Intercede with perseverance for your future spouse (Luke 18:1-8). But make sure that you patiently wait for God's best. Choose to walk in spiritual authority in your time of waiting. Remember, a spouse will not complete you, but you have already been given every spiritual blessing in Jesus Christ (Eph. 1:3). You are complete in him!
For More Study
Thoughts and Questions for Application
Memorization
Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).
1 Kings 11:4 - "As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been" (NIV).
Matthew 19:4-6 - “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (NIV).
Ephesians 5:21-25 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (NIV).
Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).
Colossians 3:18-19 - "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (NIV).
God created marriage. He instituted it at the beginning of creation. Marriage is not the ultimate goal of life… Jesus is. We are designed for a love relationship with God. He uses marriage as a means to draw us closer to himself, as well as a means to fulfill his calling on our lives. You don't need a spouse to be close to God or fulfill your calling. But, God often uses marriage as a means to accomplish both. God also created marriage to bring beauty, joy, growth and challenge into our lives. He can accomplish much through a man and woman in a commitment of marriage, working in love and unity.
When marriage is seen as a platform for gaining comfort, completeness or control over someone, it rests on shaky foundations. There are many wrong reasons to get married: physical attraction alone (sexual reasons), emotional security, fear of being alone, to have children, and parental pressure. Marriage really only works when Jesus is at the center of it. Otherwise, it will fail.
God's way of doing a marriage relationship is the best. The relational foundation should rest on the principle of mutual submission (Eph. 5:21). Heart submission to one another is possible when each person is completely submitted to Jesus. Then, in the context of marriage, the husband and the wife fulfill their different functions. The husband is called to a role of servant leadership (Jesus' style of leadership). The wife is called to follow. This, of course, does not mean a silent submission. The marriage relationship is all about giving and responding in love. When the husband is laying down his life for the wife in practical ways (i.e. being conversational, doing the "dirty" jobs, being the first to ask forgiveness, etc.), it is very easy for the wife to follow him with joy.
What if you want to get married, but it's not happening? Don't panic and try to control your future. Process your feelings with your heavenly Father. Seek him first, and he will give you what you need (Matt. 6:33). Continue to present your request before the Father. Intercede with perseverance for your future spouse (Luke 18:1-8). But make sure that you patiently wait for God's best. Choose to walk in spiritual authority in your time of waiting. Remember, a spouse will not complete you, but you have already been given every spiritual blessing in Jesus Christ (Eph. 1:3). You are complete in him!
For More Study
- 1 Kings 11:1-13
- 1 Corinthians 7
- 1 Corinthians 13
- Ephesians 5:21-33
Thoughts and Questions for Application
- If you are married, take time to thank God for your spouse. It is his gift to you. It can be easy to complain about our spouses and pick out their weaknesses. Instead, count all the ways that your spouse brings blessings into your life.
- Do you want to get married? Allow God scan your reasons for wanting marriage. Do they all line up with his intention desires for you?
- Have you fallen into anxiety and fear about your future (specifically regarding marriage)? Jesus says, "Don't worry about your life…." (Matt. 6:25). Spend time releasing control of your future to your Father. He knows best, and his timing is best.
Memorization
Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV).
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